Tag: sober support group

Killing mysElf

I would do ANYTHING when I was wasted. People would say oh I bet no one would do this (insert something ridiculous, dangerous, or illegal) and I’d happily volunteer. Consequences never crossed my mind. I literally cannot BELIEVE I’m still alive. I’d pride myself on being the badass drunk chick

Not shitfaced

A long time ago my life revolved around alcohol. I didn’t go anywhere alcohol wasn’t being served. I pre-gamed and post-gamed with a drink or five. I always had a few “roadies” to make sure I was sufficiently drunk before I showed up at an event. It seemed that I

Bitch please

I don’t fantasize about drinking anymore. Which is crazy. But I sure used to. I’d glance at people enjoying a lunch on a gorgeous spring day, with a fresh basket of bread and wine in glasses that catch the light. Laughing and clinking glasses and sipping while eating and chatting.

Who the fuck

I’ve been trying to get to the why of my addictions. Why did I self sabotage for so many years? Why didn’t I love myself enough to get and stay sober and instead ingested and smoked copious amounts of poison? Where was the love for myself that I easily showed

IsMs

I knew I was an alcoholic but I didn’t know all that entailed. I thought if I could just quit drinking my life would fall into place. Putting the bottle down was a start. It was so huge. When I had a week sober I wanted to tell everyone I

Obsession

By the end of my drinking days, it was such hard work keeping a double life going. I was exhausted. I’d wake up wishing I could stay in bed all day, then force myself through my work day and parenting. Alcohol permeated my whole day. I’d start in the morning

Heaven

It didn’t surprise anyone in my life to hear I was going to rehab. I’d been showing up as an alcoholic since I was 16 years old. What did surprise them was the fact that I got and stayed sober. If I was a gambler I’d have placed my bet

Epic

I look at past relationships sometimes and wonder what the hell I was thinking. I do believe that people come into our lives for a reason but I seemed to let the worst people for me stay. When I was in active addiction I didn’t think I deserved better. I

Excuses suck

I cannot stand it when someone gives me an excuse. It’s one of the things that makes me see red. I usually know when it’s a bullshit excuse and wonder how dumb do they think I am? Then I think of something I’ve heard a lot in recovery. “If you

Crazy?

I’m not alone in that I tried, and failed, to get sober in the past. When I was in my 20s people said I was insane. They also said that a drinker like me could never do it. I proved them right. In my 30s people were happy about it

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