Tag: sober curious

Killing mysElf

I would do ANYTHING when I was wasted. People would say oh I bet no one would do this (insert something ridiculous, dangerous, or illegal) and I’d happily volunteer. Consequences never crossed my mind. I literally cannot BELIEVE I’m still alive. I’d pride myself on being the badass drunk chick

Not shitfaced

A long time ago my life revolved around alcohol. I didn’t go anywhere alcohol wasn’t being served. I pre-gamed and post-gamed with a drink or five. I always had a few “roadies” to make sure I was sufficiently drunk before I showed up at an event. It seemed that I

Ethanol

We talk about the effects of alcohol in one of our latest podcasts. Ethanol is a solvent: it breaks down and destroys. That’s it’s job. It’s my job not to consciously ingest it anymore. Physically my body was breaking down when I was drinking. I was puffy, the spider veins

Bitch please

I don’t fantasize about drinking anymore. Which is crazy. But I sure used to. I’d glance at people enjoying a lunch on a gorgeous spring day, with a fresh basket of bread and wine in glasses that catch the light. Laughing and clinking glasses and sipping while eating and chatting.

Sloppy

I hate seeing videos and photos of my alcohol – infused days and nights. I can’t change the past or live in shame but I can remember it so I don’t repeat the same mistakes. I’m not sad that my major partying days weren’t during the time of social media

Bandaid

The little things I used to do to hide my drinking stopped working for me. As the problem got bigger and bigger so did my lies, justifications, and “solutions”. It was exhausting. My physical health was deteriorating quickly too and the hangover remedies that helped ten years ago didn’t help

Who the fuck

I’ve been trying to get to the why of my addictions. Why did I self sabotage for so many years? Why didn’t I love myself enough to get and stay sober and instead ingested and smoked copious amounts of poison? Where was the love for myself that I easily showed

No obseSsion

It’s so crazy how much I thought I’d miss alcohol in my life. I could not imagine my life without it. I tried! And I pictured every future fantasy with a wine glass in my hand. Then I couldn’t imagine going on drinking like I was. It was exhausting to

IsMs

I knew I was an alcoholic but I didn’t know all that entailed. I thought if I could just quit drinking my life would fall into place. Putting the bottle down was a start. It was so huge. When I had a week sober I wanted to tell everyone I

Obsession

By the end of my drinking days, it was such hard work keeping a double life going. I was exhausted. I’d wake up wishing I could stay in bed all day, then force myself through my work day and parenting. Alcohol permeated my whole day. I’d start in the morning

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