I knew I was an alcoholic but I didn’t know all that entailed. I thought if I could just quit drinking my life would fall into place. Putting the bottle down was a start. It was so huge. When I had a week sober I wanted to tell everyone I had ever met…”I DID IT FOR A WEEK!” So I did- tell everyone. Most people who knew me couldn’t believe it. After I had a bit of clarity… months into my sobriety, I realized that the “ISMS” in alcoholism is no bullshit. People say “I got sober because I had a drinking problem, now I know I have a thinking problem”. We are wired differently. That’s why when someone says we should just use willpower and quit that it never works. The I, Self, Me (isms) don’t disappear unless we focus on changing the way we think, act, and live. I never understood how people used to call me selfish. I know it always was all about me- what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, who I wanted to be there. I tried to control the world around me. It’s insane to look back on all of those years and realize that people still loved me. They’re better people than I used to be. Now I try to starve the ego, feed the soul, and hopefully help another person struggling with addiction. Happy Saturday, sober family. Keep it simple today.
January 9, 2021