By the end of my drinking days, it was such hard work keeping a double life going.
I was exhausted.
I’d wake up wishing I could stay in bed all day, then force myself through my work day and parenting.
Alcohol permeated my whole day.
I’d start in the morning vowing to cut down, or take a break from alcohol. Often, I’d passionately promise myself I was just going to quit for good.
I’d run around, hiding any evidence of my drinking. Obsessing that I’d missed something that someone else would notice first.
I’d feel like I was dragging all day. By the afternoon, I’d be obsessing about the wine I’d soon drink to get some relief from all the obsessing.
I don’t even think about alcohol today, except when talking sobriety. It’s like some past boyfriend I only kind of vaguely remember and have no interest in what he’s up to now.
It’s so much better on this side.